Since The Patrick and I can't even hang a picture together without getting irritated, we've agreed that we'll never attempt a DIY home remodeling project. I can't stand it. It's too messy. Too inconvenient. Full of unexpected obstacles and unpleasant discoveries. And, it always takes longer and costs more than expected.

That said, my Abba Father has me in the midst of a spiritual renovation that's turning out to be equally messy, inconvenient, and uncomfortable. Even worse, He seems to be keeping the project blueprints secret, presumably so I won't (again) attempt to perform a DIY version of what He has planned. I just have to keep trusting that my heavenly architect knows what He is doing, and has something good planned, because that's what He promised.

As with most professional renovation projects, stage one involves gutting the existing structure. Oh yeah, that's fun. Not. Wise renovators turn off the power and the gas so they can install new fixtures without risk of electrocution or explosions. Unfortunately, that means when you go to turn on the stove, the stove is not there. When you turn to the sink, the water is off. Everything you've come to depend and rely on is either missing, out of place, or out of order.


That spot where the pipe leaked and warped the floor, and you threw a rug over it? It's now a gaping hole, ready to be properly repaired. The dent in the wall where you threw the toaster across the room in a fit of rage and then patched the wall with spackle and paint? Not okay, according to the pros. Nope, to do it right, they strip it all down to the barest skeleton of the original design. It's quite a process. And when it's taking place internally, it's a bit painful.

And that's where I'm at... almost empty. 14+ years of hidden rot, a termite here or there, some hasty patch jobs, leaky pipes, dangerous wiring, faulty fixtures and obsolete appliances are being systematically done away with.

Spiritually speaking I'm talking about hidden wounds, old offenses, weak doctrines, lies the enemy planted that took root, emotional ruts, "stinking thinking" and old ways of doing and being that are not just futile and ineffective, they are dangerous.

I'm looking forward to the moment when Abba says, "Darling daughter, open your eyes and see what I have done." I know it will be good, better than I can ask or think. But right now? I'm getting back in that cocoon...