Can you believe how swiftly these 26 weeks have flown by? I've met new friends, been ministered to through their words, (hopefully) encouraged them in their journeys, and, perhaps most importantly, kept blogging when I otherwise might have slipped right off the map, so to speak.

Of all of the blessings of participating in Patty Wysong's From A2Z4U & Me meme I've enjoyed, I'd have to say encountering the sweet, sweet spirit of Joanne Sher, the wisdom of Rita Garcia, the grace of Diana Leslie Brandmeyer, the courage of Amy "Sparrow" Wiley, the humor of Rhonda Shrock, the insight of Vonnie Blake, Ginger Solomon's gentle way with the word of God, Barbara Lynn Culler's inspiring photography, Kimberly Russell's roar of faith, Marji Lane's fresh vision, Shelly Ledfors practical application, Laury Hubrich's thoughtfulness, Sara Harricharan's awesome analogies... have I left anyone out?

Wow. Have I been FED spiritually through these posts? Most certainly.


And that is what leads me to my "Z" post... In the Greek alphabet, "zeta" is only the sixth letter... omega is the last. Therefore, I am declaring that "Z" is NOT the end of the From A2Z4U&Me meme.

Why? Because I believe something greater than a "linky" has been created over the past 26 weeks. From this point forward, when I see the name of one of the A2Z participants, I want to find out what's going on with them. I want to interact with them. Someday, maybe, I'll meet them in the flesh, and if not, I'll meet them when we all come together in heaven.

For the past few days I've been praying Jeremiah 29:11, and now I pray that verse over all the new friends I've met through this meme...

"For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome." (Amplified)

When it comes to the things of the spirit, the connections made between souls, there is no end... we may lose touch, or forget a name, or lose an email address, but the spiritual ties are there, and those are eternal. For that, I am thankful.

Thanks, Patty Wysong, and for all the rest of the FromA2Z participants. You have blessed and encouraged me! May the Lord bring to completion the good work He has begun in you!

• What is the right response to the imperfections, immaturity, weaknesses, flaws, failures, etc. in our menfolk?
• What can we do to protect our households and families from an “out of order” man's dangerous decisions or behavior?
• If our men are “broken” spiritually (i.e. don’t pray, don’t know the word, won’t step into their place in the Body of Christ, etc.), are we up the creek without a paddle as far as spiritual authority, answered prayers and the protection and blessing of God on our family?
• How can we submit to and trust someone as the leader of our household when he is misbehaving?
• Where do we go to get our needs met while our husbands are “under construction”?

You are God’s daughter, the Lord God Almighty is your Daddy. He loves you unconditionally and knows exactly where you are and what’s going on in your life, and what’s going on in your husband’s life.

(Gal 3:28)You are a full-fledged member of the Body of Christ, with all the rights and privileges of membership in the family of God and citizenship in heaven, regardless of the spiritual condition of your husband.

(Isa 54:5) Your MAKER is your husband. You are individually and corporately the Bride of Christ. If you were the only Christian on the planet ever, you’d still be His Bride, right? Where your earthly husband misses the boat, you go to your heavenly husband (God) and put in your requests  for companionship and intimacy, affection, or for the washing machine to be fixed or the grass to get mowed. BEWARE going outside your Blood Covenants to get those needs met. Don’t put God in a box as to HOW those needs are met, either, keep your eyes open for His working.

(1 Sam 25) When the man in question wants to do something stupid (there is no human being on the planet, male or female, who is immune to stupidity), don’t REACT, respectfully respond with consideration. Then PRAY and let God work. Even if your man goes ahead with his plan, God is well able to take care of you and your household anyway.

It's time for the final countdown of the marriage lessons I've been sharing this week. These don't have a particular order, because each lesson has been of vital importance at some point in time, and to be honest, I expect to learn at least twenty more valuable lessons in the next twenty years!

6. My husband is a son of God. Not "the" son of God, but "a" son of God. As such, I should offer him the same kind of courtesy, consideration, respect and honor I would give Jesus if He were physically present in my home. Yeah, that's a toe-curler, I know. It was for me, too, but it completely changed my perception of the man who walked into my house everyday after work, and when our perception changes, our reactions and responses change.

5. It is essential to have "fighting rules," because you will disagree at some point in time. How you conduct yourself in a disagreement may be the difference between a sword fight (death or serious injury) and a harmless round of fencing.

4. The "D" word (divorce) is not in our marital vocabulary. Far too many couples toss the "D" word around whenever they get angry, or upset, or want to shut down an argument before they lose face.

3. Never go to bed angry. I know, this is a classic bit of advice. But these are the words my paternal grandpa shared with me on my wedding day, and I took them to heart. We had more than one sleepless night over the years but we never went to bed without finding common ground.

2. Forgive, and do it quickly. At any point you feel resentment, bitterness, or unforgiveness toward your spouse, choose to forgive as an act of your will. Don't wait until you "feel" like it, just do it!

(Yes, that's Pat and me, three days before the birth of our first child. My swollen nose became a sure sign I was about ready to "pop.")

1. Love is a choice, not a feeling. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a is NOT just a nice scripture selection for a wedding ceremony. Read it, personalize it, commit it to memory. Every time it says "love" insert your name. (I endure long and am patient and kind...) It's guaranteed to change your life, whether you're married or not!

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. 

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

1 Cor 13:4-8a AMP

I could think of no better way to introduce this second round of marriage mawwage lessons. If you're looking for #20-#14, click here.

13. A woman has the ability to verbally castrate her husband with just a few cutting remarks, particularly those made in a public setting. Sarcastic comments about one's spouse, however amusing (or true) they may be, are best kept to oneself.

12. I'm responsible for my face, and he's responsible for his face. My husband's happiness is not my responsibility. Likewise, my happiness is not his responsibility.

11.The things that bother me about my body only bother him because they make me unhappy and/or inhibited. Men who are bothered by their wives' bodies are generally insecure about their own bodies, and/or sexuality. (But if that describes your husband, don't tell him he's insecure... just tell him you think he's gorgeous.)

10. Never, ever, send your husband to the store for paint, fabric, hair color, or anything that comes in a particular color. Even if you send him with a color swatch, a sample, and a picture on his iPhone.

9.  Be gracious to him when you have to locate the mayonnaise, his black socks, his wallet, or his watch for the 400th time. Hopefully, he is equally gracious to you when you need a heavy object moved.

8. You don't have to have a lot of things - hobbies, interests, etc. - in common to have a strong, healthy marriage, just a mutual desire to make the marriage work. (This observation comes from my 17-year-old son.)
 
7. If your husband perceives that you consider canoodling a "duty" or a "chore" he will be deeply offended. So if you have to add canoodling to your schedule in order to save up your energy till the end of the day, make sure you don't tell him you "penciled him in."

Look for the final six on Friday...

Wouldn't it be weird to say, "Will you be my half-Valentine?" Or to give someone half a cut-out heart? But for many of us, our understanding of love has been cut in two, leaving us with half a heart and half the benefits we should receive from being people of love.

Remember Charlie Brown and Snoopy's "love is..." comics? Love is a warm blanket, love is helping, love is a friend like Woodstock. Yep. Warm, fuzzy love. Those things are great, don't get me wrong, but they aren't the whole picture.

If I refuse to pet other people's insecurities, if I reject their bad behavior, or if I try to bring correction where there is ignorance and confusion, then I'm not being a "loving" person. We've come to the point where disciplining our children is no longer considered a loving deed, even though the Bible tells us we hate the children we refuse to correct. Somehow, we've come to the erroneous conclusion that walking in love and "being nice" are one and the same; that being well-mannered and being a loving person are equivalent.

The opposite end of the spectrum calls everything "tough love" and lumps abuse and torment and all manner of cruelty under that label. And that's not right either.

We all hunger for love that lasts a lifetime. We want to love, and to be loved. But we settle, too often, for half a heart. 
True love involves more than fuzzy feelings and Snoopy-esque quotes. Love that lasts, love that's true, must include honesty and honor; commitment and correction; discipline as well as devotion. Without both sides, love becomes a shallow pool, doomed to evaporate in the blistering heat of the noonday sun.

Being afraid to speak the truth, to bring correction, or to provide discipline is as much an abuse of the definition of love as lying, betrayal, and faithlessness.

To be a person of love, I must be one who speaks AND hears truth. Who offers AND receives correction. Who submits to AND offers discipline.
 
This month, while pink and red hearts and lacy doilies decorate our homes, let's meditate on the way we live in love.

• Are we one-sided lovers? 
• Do we always want to correct and never want to be corrected? 
• Do we expect respect and fail to offer it in return?

I don't want to have half a heart! I want to be more than half a Valentine! Don't you?

Image by samholland via Flickr

You've heard the expression, "your two cents worth," as it relates to your opinion. Or this one, "Opinions are like noses ... everybody has one." And yet, in spite of the ridiculously low value of human opinion, we cling to our own like moss on a rock.
By definition, an opinion is "a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty." One dictionary defines opinions as a personal view, or perspective, of a situation. In a court of law, an opinion, even an "expert" one, rarely counts as anything more than circumstantial evidence.
Like you, I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things; from sports, to music, to fashion, and from politics, to religion, to the weather. Most of the time, I think my opinions are pretty important. I've even been known to argue occasionally about the validity of my opinion.
But are my opinions important enough to me that I will pay to protect them? I'm not talking about paying with money, I'm talking about paying with something far more valuable - relationships.
Now before you get all a-quiver and start contemplating your comments, this isn't about compromising your faith, beliefs, or personal convictions for the sake of pleasing people. I'm talking about being so stuck to your opinion about something (remember, an opinion rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty) that you cut off relationships in order to "prove yourself right."
Like my husband's grandparents, who refused to attend their daughter's wedding because he was Methodist and she was Catholic. Nearly 50 years later, my husband's parents are still scarred from the experience. What did their firm stand on denominational-correctness accomplish? It drove their daughter AND son-in-law out of church completely. Kind of like cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Maybe I should rename my blog "The Fine Line" because it seems like I keep coming back to the same point. As Christians, we must differentiate between God's view of right and wrong and man-made sin. There are a lot of topics that are "gray" in the Bible that religion has turned into absolute doctrine.
I mean, the Bible says NOTHING about smoking. But it says a lot about gluttony. Which is worse? Good question.
The Bible says NOTHING about versions and translations of the Bible. Yet churches and families are split over KJV-only opinions.
My oldest son has long hair and an earring. He looks like a rebel. Occasionally he acts like one, too! He is frequently judged by others based on his outward appearance, which is to be expected, because that's how natural man operates. But he also writes and plays Christian music, is on our worship team, honors his parents, and loves God.
Do I like how he's choosing to adorn himself outwardly at this time? Not really. I'd like for him to be a prep (if he reads this he'll scream), because I think he'd be cute in chinos and a polo shirt. I like him better with short hair (Yes, I DO know the scriptures about hair, male and female. Mine's short, by the way.) and I wish he would wear a color besides black.
Do we occasionally butt heads over things? Yes, but I try to limit those things to stuff where I can lay out at least two or three New Testament scriptures to confirm God's standard of living. I'm not willing to cut off communication with my son, and risk closing his heart to me, over silly things like hairstyle and wardrobe. My opinions are not as valuable to me as my relationship with my son, or the possibility of driving him away from a relationship with God. So sometimes I have to bite my tongue and trust God to deal with him.
Jesus perpetually broke "the rules" to show His unconditional love to others.
According to the religious and cultural opinions of the day, He wasn't even supposed to acknowledge the Samaritan woman at the well - the one who'd had five husbands and was living with another guy - but He did. He neither condemned nor condoned her behavior. He didn't have to, her own heart convicted her. He simply looked at where she was and showed her a better way. And she took it!
Christ's ministry throughout the gospels repeats the same theme with lepers and lunatics and losers of all kinds. I mean, when the naked, crazy guy named Legion comes running toward Jesus on the shores of Galilee, the first thing Jesus does is not try to get him dressed in appropriate churchgoing attire!

Jesus didn't let opinions get in the way of loving people.

Why do we?
(References: John 7:24, Romans 14:13, John 4)