There's a lot of debate about how to define "Christian fiction."

photo by faithcreations                                     via PhotoRee

On Mike Duran's deCompose blog this week, he questioned whether Flannery O'Connor's books would be considered Christian fiction in today's market. After all, her characters were known to use swear words. *sarcastic whisper mine*

Meanwhile, Jeanette Levellie, at On Wings of Mirth and Worth, questioned whether we should label a book—fiction or nonfiction—as Christian even though it doesn't include any mention of God, Christ, salvation, or scripture. It's simply a clean, pleasant story sold in a Christian bookstore and published by a Christian publishing house.

I frequently come across scriptures in secular fiction ... even in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. Surprise, surprise. I've posted previously about the Christian themes I see throughout the Twilight stories. But that doesn't make them Christian stories.

On the other hand, Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Chronicles of Narnia don't have scriptures in them, but they are considered Christian tales. Last month I read a Christian book in which the lead character, a minister, went out for beers and burgers with a friend ... a definite no-no in many Christian circles, and certainly a taboo on the infamous list of dos and don'ts that circulated through the blogosphere last year. A list that includes things like "no mixed dancing," and "no gambling" by Christian characters.

It's hard to define what constitutes a Christian book when we can't even agree on what constitutes a Christian. The Baptist sect in Kansas that pickets the funerals of our fallen war heroes thinks their actions are Christian, though the majority of believers beg to differ. Some churches teach that you can't be "saved" (become a Christian) unless you go to that specific church and pray a specifically worded prayer. Others teach salvation through works, through baptism, through tithing, or simply assume that if you attend a church with a sign over the door that says CHRISTIAN, then you must be one automatically. Like the old joke... "that's like saying going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger."

Certainly, putting a Christian label on a book or a business or a politician's platform makes Christians feel more comfortable about supporting that business, reading that book, or voting for that politician. But does it also turn away the very people we are commanded by Christ to witness to? Are we then merely "preaching to the choir"? And what happens when said business goes under for not paying taxes, or said politician is revealed as an adulterer, or the author of the Christian book is found to be a ... a ... um. Well, you get the idea.

As writers, I think we have to ask ourselves, as Flannery O'Connor did, who is our intended audience? The traditional response of the Christian writer is, "I'm writing for the Lord, of course!" That makes sense if we're talking about our motivation to obey Him, but it doesn't make sense when we're talking about our audience.  If we're writing in the hopes of leading someone to Christ, why are we constrained by whether or not our work will be accepted by other Christians, purchased by other Christians, or even enjoyed by other Christians? It's just a thought, something to consider, to ponder.

Most of the time I try not to make a nuisance out of myself.
(No, really.)

I shudder at the idea of condemning someone for his or her sin when I have "issues" (that's Christian code for "sin problem") of my own. I don't want to manipulate, pressure, or compel my friends to believe what I believe about God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. (Although sometimes I wish God would give us the ability to compel folks the way vampires do so we could wrap this whole mess up in a hurry.)

I'm painfully aware of the reaction folks have to meeting a Christian, especially one "in ministry." Like when the lady who pierced my nose realized she'd cussed someone out on the phone while I was in the room. As soon as she found out I was a pastor's wife, she apologized, as though it would scorch my purified pastoral ears to hear such language. I tried to explain that not only have I heard those words before, I've USED those words. Out loud. Recently.

I've tried to avoid mentioning God in casual conversation with friends. I've tried to explain my perspective on a situation without bringing in what I know of my Creator. I just can't do it.

I can't tell you how kid #3 supernaturally recovered from chronic ear infections without telling you what God "told" me to do to fix the problem. (Telling people God talks to you is a surefire way to get a raised eyebrow and a concerned expression.) I can't explain why we moved here without explaining to you the insistent tug of His calling. To tell you about the time the dial on our electric meter miraculously moved backward and spared us from a bill we couldn't afford, I have to tell you about my Jesus, who answers prayer.

Why can't I leave it alone? Why can't I keep God out of my conversations, out of my blog posts, off my Facebook status? Why do your Christian friends continue to pester you about church, about the Bible, about who Jesus is to you, about receiving Him as Savior and Lord? Why the H-E-double toothpicks won't they just leave you alone?

I can't speak for every Christian, only for myself. I can't bear to consider the idea of spending eternity without all the people I've come to respect, admire, and love.

How could heaven be heavenly without you?

Are you driven?
Here's the definition from dictionary.com:

"...being under compulsion, as to succeed or excel: a driven young man who was fiercely competitive."

This is a reblog of an earlier post. I'm going to see "New Moon" in the theater this weekend, Stephenie Meyer was on Oprah, authors are screaming about how unfair her success is, and vampire books, movies, and television shows are springing up like dandelions. What's the fuss? Without getting too religious about the moral value of the vampire myth, let's just look at a possible reason for its broad appeal. Something is drawing people to the Twilight Saga... could it be a driving inner thirst, not for human blood, but for love? For a Savior willing to sacrifice Himself for us?

I confess, I'm a closet Twilight fan. With no movie theater in town, no kids in public school, and a personal distaste for all things vampire in nature, Twilight never even blipped on my radar screen. I saw the books by Stephenie Meyer at Wal-Mart, but wrote them off as "young adult" novels. And then my daughter and her fiance brought the movie version home on DVD.
Edward's appeal is his willingness to lay down his life and deny his own desires for the sake of the woman he loves. What woman doesn't want to be loved and desired so deeply, so intensely, that the man she loves is willing to risk himself – not just physically – but emotionally, socially, and mentally as he reveals the deepest secrets of his heart and exposes his true identity, to her?

If you'd like to have your name included in the random drawing, leave me a comment and your e-mail address. (Click "comments" below. A window will pop up with a place to enter comments at the bottom.). Leave spaces between your name and the @ symbol, or type out the word "at" to avoid being picked up by those web spider things that steal e-mail addresses and add them to junk mail lists. Or something like that.

photo credits: aturkus  and hyperscholar

Next week is my 18-year-old daughter's wedding. I've been thinking about the privilege it has been to raise her.

My first thought was to list all the things I wish I hadn't done as a parent. But those things are the same ones you see on every list... I wish I'd worried less about having a clean house and spent more time having fun with my kids, I wish I hadn't yelled and screamed about stupid, trivial things, I wish...

Yeah, well, that's depressing and futile to consider at this point, so I'm going to look at the bright side. My husband would tell you that was out of character for me, but I'm pretty darn proud of the way our oldest child has turned out!

I certainly can't take the credit. God gets the glory. Anything I did right is because He directed my parenting steps as I cried out to Him for help! And that, dear readers, underlies all of the following tips and tricks, because every child and every parent is different, and only God has the right answers.

1. We flooded her with the Word.
We played scripture tapes, bought Christian videos, watched Christian programming, read the Bible, and prayed with her from the time she was just a toddler (we didn't get saved until she was almost a year old.) We didn't limit her intake of the Word, or church, or of the Bible to things we thought she could understand. We just trusted that the Word would do her spirit good whether she "got it" or not. We found out later she understood a lot more than we expected!
The biggest benefit? When she was old enough to be exposed to other things, she recognized the difference between good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lie, more rapidly than we did. Like the bank employees who are trained to recognize the counterfeit by examining the real thing.

On that note, a number of people have questioned our willingness to let her get married so young. All I can say is that we've invested the last 18 years into teaching her how to hear from God for herself, how to be led by His spirit in all her ways, and He has proven Himself faithful to speak to her on any number of issues. At this point, if we can't trust God to talk to her about something as critical about her marriage, we're all pretty much up the creek without the proverbial paddle!

2. Backwards diapers won't hurt them.
I was blessed to have a husband who was willing to change diapers and take care of her from the time we got home from the hospital. But sometimes it was a struggle for me to let him do it. Especially when I would come home and the house would be a disaster and her diaper would be on backwards, or she'd tell me about their "adventures" riding dirt bikes or spelunking using the light from his cell phone. It was tempting to pull her in and turn her into "mommy's girl," but she needed that time with her father, and the balance he supplied her with. When she hit the hormonal tween years, it was her daddy who stepped in and counseled and comforted and corrected her most of the time, and because she'd spent so much time with him, she received his guidance. I encourage every mother to find trustworthy men, if dad isn't around, to help you raise your girls.

3. We encouraged her to find her own "voice" instead of being an "echo."
Granted, sometimes she sounds just like me. And I usually cringe (that's those mistakes we make that come back to haunt us). But when it comes to her personal likes and dislikes, and the decisions she makes, she's her own person. She doesn't have to copycat anyone else because she's confident in who she is. I made it a point to choose my battles very carefully. In Dr. Dobson's words, "Is this a hill you want to die on as a parent?" Things like hairstyles, ear piercing, clothing style, decorating her room, etc. were all potential sources of strife when we disagreed. But most of the time, if I stepped back to pray, God would remind me that those things were superficial, not spiritual, and they didn't really matter. He trained me with my daughter. Applying the same principles to my son has been much more challenging! (More on that in the future!)

4. Traditional social circles can do more harm than good.
Homeschooling and living out of town made limiting interactions with her peers easy for us. I shudder at the amount of time girls spend with their "friends." We didn't do sleepovers, she wasn't involved in a lot of group activities, and she learned early to choose her friends wisely. Yes, sometimes she laments the fact that she doesn't "have any friends," but in reality, she has a lot of friends, they just aren't her age! She interacts easily with people of both genders and all age groups, which is important for her success as an adult!

5. I jumped off the "Mommy" pedestal.
Sometimes to the point of TMI, I openly shared the mistakes I made at her age, and I apologized a lot when I made mistakes with her. I set my own mother on a kind of pedestal for years, and tried to live up to her "perfect" example. And then I found out she was just human like the rest of us. I'm not perfect, and I have no problem with my kids knowing it. I don't want her to try to "live up" to me, I want her to go as far beyond me as she can!

Growing up, my next-door neighbor's mom, who had five boys and one girl, used to say she'd rather raise five more boys than one more girl. I have had moments where I've felt that way, but for the most part, daughters are a blessing. What a divine privilege we have to help develop strong, confident women to lead the next generation, and possibly usher in the return of Christ!

Caiti, I couldn't be more proud of you. Keep following your Lord and He will lead you into a life of blessing and peace that's more than you can ask or think! Love, Mom.

"What do you mean, 'I have PMS?'"
For one or two days (at least) a month, I wake up wearing "ugly glasses." They are the opposite of "rose-colored glasses." These goggles make everything look atrocious.
I look ugly. My clothes look weird. My house looks filthy, the yard trashy, my children onery, and my charming husband starts to look like an ogre. I see things I dislike everywhere around me and struggle to change them. This results in hours of "angry cleaning," which involves lots of stomping, cabinet slamming, vacuum banging, self-pity, and general misery. If I'm dressing to go somewhere, it means my entire wardrobe will be relegated to a heap on my bed, or the closet floor, in search of something that doesn't look "awful." Is any of this ringing true with any of you female readers? And if you're a guy, maybe it will help you understand your wife or girlfriend or daughter or mother!
I surmise these glasses are caused by a nasty episode of PMS (commonly known as Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, a.k.a. Psychotic Mood Shift, Puffy Mid-Section, and my personal favorite: Potential Murder Suspect, all from funnyandjokes.com). I've recently learned that "if your PMS is noticed by those around you, it's probably PMDD." I haven't even tried to figure that one out. I think it means PMS double-dog. Like a double-dog-dare?
After years of enduring these "ugly" days I had an epiphany while I sniveled over the condition of my bathroom. The revelation is not new, and you've probably heard it before: "Your perception is your reality."
Just like certain eye problems affect your depth perception, PMS goggles cause a change in your "reality perception." Now, acknowledging this didn't change the symptoms, but it certainly gave me some hope! If these "goggles" are a side effect of a temporary physical condition, then maybe I'm not a hopeless housekeeper, a terrible mother, and a lousy wife! I haven't instantly transformed into a frump with an IQ of 18.5, and my face hasn't really changed it's size or shape overnight. It's all just a perception, and tomorrow is a new day!
My question is this: If these physical changes produce such a dramatic effect on my perception of reality, what else is influencing my perceptions of the world around me? Am I yielding my emotions, my beliefs, my actions, to some external influence, instead of being influenced by God within? I read a little book many years ago about dealing with PMS as a Christian woman. The author, whose name I cannot recall, said, "Just because you have PMS symptoms does not give you the right to stop acting like a follower of Christ." Ouch.
Here's the good news: If you know your perceptions are off, you can let Christ compensate for your lack of accurate perception! It sounds easy, but in practice it's a "battle royale," as my youngest likes to say.
I wear contacts or glasses every day. Without them, I'm legally blind. I have to use "visual aids" to compensate for my physical weakness. Jesus is my "perception aid." When someone (or everyone) is irritating me, if I allow Christ's perception of that individual (even if it's ME) to color mine, my feelings will change.

Talk about preaching to the choir. I think this post was for me!