Darn you, June Cleaver.

I didn't mean to, but I unleashed a hairy, scary monster on Facebook the other night. I whined about making dinner for the family and ha...

I didn't mean to, but I unleashed a hairy, scary monster on Facebook the other night. I whined about making dinner for the family and having no one show up to eat it “on time.”


The ladies are in agreement: It's altogether aggravating to put together the biggest meal of the day and then have no one respond to “Dinner's ready!” except the family dog(s). However, I got a very grouchy (and uncharacteristic) message from my husband pointing out the other side of the story. Most other fellas were apparently too scared to dive into that seething mass of feminine frustration.

It appears the family dinner table – the epitome of the happy nuclear household – has become (or perhaps has always been) a source of silent contention and hidden resentment.

Have we been surreptitiously brainwashed by the 1950s image of the happy homemaker who has a hot meal on the table every night at six o'clock on the dot? It's like a virus. No matter how odd our household schedules might be, somewhere around 4:30 or 5 p.m. that internal wifely virus is triggered. Like an automaton, I go into Stepford mode.

TIME TO MAKE THE DINNER
TIME TO MAKE THE DINNER

Once the meal is prepared the spell breaks, and I realize I've prepared food for six and no one is home to eat it but me. Then I get testy and bang things around in the kitchen and send angry text messages to my absentee family members. Based on the following photo, this reaction is universal enough to warrant its own wine label, in red or white, depending on whether you're serving beef or chicken.

Mad Housewife Wines Pictures, Images and Photos
The sniping can go either way. Fifty years ago (if FB had existed) some man might have grumbled about his wife not having supper on the table when he came home from work, and his male buddies would have commiserated with him. Today if a man posts a statement like that he's apt to be drowned in a sea of feminist wrath.

My husband's perspective has less to do with dinner itself and more to do with what he comes home to, I think (he can correct me if I'm wrong). After working a 10-11 hour day, encountering a snarly witch-wife with a chip on her shoulder is not his idea of a pleasant evening. I can see his point, and I believe he can see mine, as well.


What's disturbing is the level of hidden resentment my FB comment unleashed. The root of it? Unspoken expectations we place upon ourselves and others, and the guilt and anger generated when those expectations aren't met.

How many marriages are poisoned by this kind of toxic resentment? Whether it's over who makes dinner and when, empty toilet paper rolls, dirty socks on the floor, toothpaste and whiskers in the sink, or (fill in the blank)?

Here's a tip from Proverbs we could all stand to apply: "Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife." (Prov 17:1)

Solomon, with his 300 wives and 700 concubines, probably knew a thing or two about cranky wives and meals that cause indigestion.

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6 Comments

  1. Jeanette LevellieApril 20, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    Funny you should mention June Cleaver. We've been watching the LITB reruns, and more often than not, they get in a tif at the dinner table.

    I'm not choosing sides, but I hate it when I've cooked and have to call 3 times for my husband to come. If he cooks, he gets impatient, too. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Niki TurnerApril 20, 2011 at 5:15 PM

    Ha ha! I didn't know that, I haven't watched LITB in aeons.
    What's that saying? Your perspective is your reality? When the shoe (or oven mitt) is on the other foot, things look different!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Suzie JohnsonApril 20, 2011 at 11:37 PM

    Oh, LOL! Niki, this is too cute. I love it. I love LITB, too. And even June Cleaver. However, I must admit, much to my shame, I don't have the wifely virus that puts me in automaton mode where dinner is concerned. I could live happily on cereal, peanut butter, apples and tea. My husband would disagree with me, and I'm really glad he doesn't do FB or follow blogs. I'd hate to see what he might be writing about me. He really, really wishes I was Laura Petrie. I think June is too close in age to his own mom, but Laura Petrie...I think she was his fantasy wife.

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  4. Niki TurnerApril 21, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    @Suzie Johnson Suzie, I'm convinced we'd all be skinny if we didn't have menfolk to feed! I'm the same way... my diet would include apples, cans of tuna, crackers, toast, and peanut butter and honey. Maybe some soup.
    I'm going to have to ask my hubby who his fantasy TV wife would be! I think you just gave me an idea for another post!

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  5. Laura MApril 27, 2011 at 10:35 AM

    I love this! Even though I am the one that goes to work every day (my husband works @ home) I still get dinner on the table every night. I actually got a big bell to ring when dinner is ready! Luckily I like to cook, I think I would have been a good 1950's wife. Funny, my husban's favorite tv wife (that cooked) was Laura Petrie too! (Not as much as the non-cooking "I dream of Jeanie" though)!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Niki TurnerApril 27, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    @Laura M That reminds me of my next-door neighbors growing up. They had six kids and a home business. She had a huge cast-iron bell outside she would ring to call her 5 boys and 1 girl in for supper every night!
    Thanks for coming by!

    ReplyDelete

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