While procrastinating exercising this morning, I read yet another snarky commentary on the Twilight saga. This author pointed out the serious psychological dangers of letting young girls believe that there's a perfect man out there for them; the risk we take by filling their impressionable tween brains with fluffy romance and ideas of happily-ever-after. (That's right, Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast and all the other fluffy fairy tales we feed our kids are damaging!)


Sure, the books might not be stand-out examples of literary excellence. Yes, men are freaking out about feminized vampires who glitter and refrain from killing humans and neutered werewolves who cry, pout, and whine. Women think Bella is a spineless weakling and Edward is a dangerous control freak, giving girls the wrong idea about relationships. The idea that the hero refuses to have sex with the heroine before marriage, or that both of them are shhhh... *virgins*, is totally unrealistic. And of course, getting married at 19 is just absurd ... after all, no one could really fall in love in high school, right?

I hate to say it, but if we're worried about the minds of our youth being corrupted by Twilight, we are so far removed from the culture in which we live we risk becoming totally irrelevant. I mean, check out the Ken doll I spotted at Walmart a few weeks ago.

Sweet Talkin' Ken is billed as the "ultimate boyfriend." You tell him what you want to hear and he repeats it back to you in "his" voice. Talk about unrealistic ... and don't even get me started on the detrimental effect Barbie's impossible measurements and lack of muffin top have on the female psyche.

But, gee, could that lack of realism have anything to do with the fact Ken and Barbie are TOYS? Kind of like the Twilight series is FICTION? Remember your definitions now, fiction is not true. It's for entertainment. It doesn't have to give an accurate depiction of reality because it isn't real. Read that again.
It. Is. Not. Real.

Every generation of young people latches on to something – a band, a movie star, a fashion style – that the older generation freaks out about. They're convinced the collapse of the civilized world will rest solely on Elvis' swiveling hips or Edward's sparkly skin. Remember the fervor over Olivia Newton-John's early '80s song, "Physical"? Or the protests over the length of the Beatles' hair? Or the flappers and cropped hair of the '20s?

This too shall pass.

Wouldn't it be weird to say, "Will you be my half-Valentine?" Or to give someone half a cut-out heart? But for many of us, our understanding of love has been cut in two, leaving us with half a heart and half the benefits we should receive from being people of love.

Remember Charlie Brown and Snoopy's "love is..." comics? Love is a warm blanket, love is helping, love is a friend like Woodstock. Yep. Warm, fuzzy love. Those things are great, don't get me wrong, but they aren't the whole picture.

If I refuse to pet other people's insecurities, if I reject their bad behavior, or if I try to bring correction where there is ignorance and confusion, then I'm not being a "loving" person. We've come to the point where disciplining our children is no longer considered a loving deed, even though the Bible tells us we hate the children we refuse to correct. Somehow, we've come to the erroneous conclusion that walking in love and "being nice" are one and the same; that being well-mannered and being a loving person are equivalent.

The opposite end of the spectrum calls everything "tough love" and lumps abuse and torment and all manner of cruelty under that label. And that's not right either.

We all hunger for love that lasts a lifetime. We want to love, and to be loved. But we settle, too often, for half a heart. 
True love involves more than fuzzy feelings and Snoopy-esque quotes. Love that lasts, love that's true, must include honesty and honor; commitment and correction; discipline as well as devotion. Without both sides, love becomes a shallow pool, doomed to evaporate in the blistering heat of the noonday sun.

Being afraid to speak the truth, to bring correction, or to provide discipline is as much an abuse of the definition of love as lying, betrayal, and faithlessness.

To be a person of love, I must be one who speaks AND hears truth. Who offers AND receives correction. Who submits to AND offers discipline.
 
This month, while pink and red hearts and lacy doilies decorate our homes, let's meditate on the way we live in love.

• Are we one-sided lovers? 
• Do we always want to correct and never want to be corrected? 
• Do we expect respect and fail to offer it in return?

I don't want to have half a heart! I want to be more than half a Valentine! Don't you?

• p.s. Stop by and leave a comment between Aug. 31 and the end of October to be entered to win one of several fabulous prizes!