On "M*A*S*H" wounded soldiers were sent to triage to determine the extent of their injuries and level of care they needed to recover.


In my opinion, we need triage units in the church. Every time we send out a missionary, or a new minister, or an evangelism team, we send them into spiritual war zones ... and unless you've been there, to that particular place and time and season, you cannot assume to know or understand the attacks that come against them during their "tour."

Sometimes the attacks are physical... sickness, exhaustion, anxiety, and the like. More often the attacks are spiritual/mental/emotional in nature, things like doubt and fear and cynicism.

Some, thank God, return from the field relatively unscathed. Others return with questions, fears and doubts they cannot reconcile with church-as-they-knew-it before. Some suffer internal injuries and come home with "slow bleeds" that eventually endanger their lives. Others take direct hits ... they return missing parts and pieces of their faith, of their doctrine, of themselves. And the church, in general, smiles and claps politely and expects all of the above to keep marching along in step with everyone else.

“There is no deeper pathos in the spiritual life of man than the cruelty of righteous people.”

When a wounded Christian "acts up" (think about an injured animal, they tend to be cranky and prone to growling and biting and generally behave badly), our response as fellow believers is often to rebuke or reject, without asking "why" or "what" or even slowing down long enough to pray for the person or ask for wisdom in approaching him/her. Ever run into a Christian misbehaving? Maybe he or she is injured, hurting, and in need of help...


Sometimes wounded Christians simply withdraw. They may disappear from fellowship functions, stop communicating, or "suddenly" change social circles. Our typical response, as fellow Christians? A little presumption and a little assumption (usually in the form of polite gossip aka prayer requests) followed by avoidance.  Personally, this latest round has reminded me of the fourth grade...

During Christmas break that year, I contracted the flu. I don't know what brand of flu it was, but it put me down for weeks. We were two weeks into the second semester of school when I was finally strong enough to return to class.

Not only had I missed an entire unit on fractions (which stump me to this day), I returned to find that the classroom had been rearranged into groups. Four desks per group. I found my desk shoved off in a corner, forgotten. I hadn't been present, so I was forgotten. I well recall the sensation of not belonging, of being outcast and shunned, and all because I'd been sick.

How many wounded believers around us feel the same way? Cast out. Left behind. Shunned. Forgotten. Unwanted.

The point of this post? The next time you see a fellow believer "acting out" in ways you don't approve or deem "Christian enough,"  or withdrawing from fellowship and communion with others, don't take the easy road of presumption and judgment or mutual avoidance... step into your prayer closet and ask the Lord if there's something you can do for that person. A kind word, a faith-filled prayer, a friendly gesture, or a well-timed question might make the difference between a fellow believer being in the body of Christ or ending up out of joint. Remember, one member out of joint causes discomfort for all!

Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.

My Facebook friends cover a broad variety of spiritual belief systems. Agnostics, atheists, pagans, heathens, lots of Christians, a few Jews, a Wiccan or two, some New Agers, and a couple Buddhists are in my friend list.

From that eclectic socio-spiritual mix, the only people I've ever had to unfriend or hide because their posts or their shared links or their messages were hateful, spiteful, judgmental, and mean, have been self-avowed Christians. (I say "self-avowed" because I wonder what Jesus calls us when we act like that.)

Sunday, one of those yucky posts surprised me. It was a shared link from a Christian whose posts are usually unquestionably sweet and encouraging. In the linked video, a popular minister "abominates" (his word) a particular doctrine taught in many churches and, by default, those who preach that doctrine. Abominate, by the way, means "to hate or loathe intensely." He wasn't abominating violence, or rape, or child trafficking, or war, or murder, or even gossip and outbursts of wrath. No, the video was his explanation for hating and loathing intensely a particular teaching within the body of Christ.

What strikes me as odd is that I can't recall ever seeing one group of pagans denounce other pagans, although surely they must have their differences about their practices. I don't remember my heathen/barbarian friends from one group denouncing the heathens from another group for some minor difference in ideology. The Buddhists never seem to denounce anything, the Jews don't ever bring up the subject of religion, and the new agers are usually too excited about some new, new age activity to bother. In fact, the only time I remember hearing griping and "abominating" coming from those groups was about the lousy, self-righteous, hypocritical way Christians tend to treat each other.

Good grief ... viewed from outside, through proud lenses filled with preachers abominating other preachers, the church looks like a shark tank with some piranhas thrown in to clean up the leftovers. No wonder folks are hesitant to join us for Sunday fellowship!

Why is it that the group that is supposed to be known and recognized by its love for one another, for unity of heart and spirit, feels it's all right to bash each other publicly over what would be considered "internal affairs" in any other organization? How is it that we who have the love of God shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit can spew out such critical, faultfinding, negative actions and words? Why is it acceptable within the body of Christ to tear down other parts of the body with our words?

Sometimes I wonder if Jesus would be more comfortable hanging out at the lake on Sunday with a bunch of guys going fishing than he would in many of our church services.

Oh, that's right... He was.
Shame on us. 

     Being a pastor's wife is kind of like being an art project. People judge the quality of your husband's ministry according to your appearance, behavior, attitude, submission, and degree of voluntary service to the church.
     The unspoken expectation is if you do well in your role, it reflects well on your spouse and his ministry will be a success. If you do poorly, well ... you've disappointed your husband, your church, and your God. 
     Such is the battle faced by the heroine of The Pastor's Wife, which officially releases February 1, 2010 by author Jennifer AlLee,  published by Abingdon Press.
     AlLee, a former church secretary (another of those often maligned and misunderstood ministry positions in the body of Christ) has written a beautiful book that reveals the struggle faced by one pastor's wife to find her own identity, recover a broken relationship with God, and restore her marriage, with a heady undercurrent of the importance of forgiveness throughout.
     Don't assume this story won't appeal to you if you aren't a pastor's wife or in full-time ministry. The Pastor's Wife exposes universal dilemmas, conflicts exacerbated by a call to ministry, but familiar to almost everyone:

• How can we use our individual gifts to express our faith and serve our God without bowing to the expectations of others?
• Can we learn to see through judgmental, controlling behavior to the wounded person underneath and help set them free?
• What does it take to restore a marriage that's been shattered by separation and secrets?

     AlLee successfully weaves her story without being preachy and (to my great joy!) without turning her heroine into a Stepford wife as she navigates her relationships with God, with her husband, and with the church.
     I'm privileged and honored to claim Jen as an Inkie sister over at Inkwell Inspirations, where this week's posts were devoted to the release of The Pastor's Wife. And check out Jen's blog for the blog tour schedule throughout the month of February.
     Thank you Jen, for a wonderful read!