Can you have your uterus bronzed?Friday, August 09, 2013
Women's health is a funny thing. We get all kinds of advice about staying healthy, going through "the change," managing our we...
Women's health is a funny thing. We get all kinds of advice about staying healthy, going through "the change," managing our weight and our hormones and all our various issues. And then, when the rubber hits the road and it's time to DO something about those recalcitrant female parts, no one is talking, which is odd in our modern era of TMI wherein we post selfies taken in our messy bathrooms with dirty towels and toilets in the background.
Back in January/February this year, my ovaries decided to mutiny. I think they've attempted a hostile takeover before, but this time they put me down for several weeks, clinging to a hot water bottle day and night. Now, I'm not a pain weenie... I birthed four children naturally, so being knocked to the couch in pain was a new experience. An ultrasound revealed ovarian cysts. I went with the conservative treatment - hormone therapy - for several months, to no avail. The 4 cm complex cyst on my left ovary refused to respond, and other symptoms arose... things "nice" girls don't discuss. UGH. I've never been a nice girl, why start now? But for the sensitive, let's leave it at "chronic pelvic pain," which translates into cranky, weepy, unhappy momma.
Anyway, I'm scheduled for a LAVH-BSO on Monday morning. That's a "laparoscopically assisted vaginal hysterectomy with a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy" for those of us who don't read acronyms. In layman's terms, all the girl parts are going bye-bye. I'd kind of like to get my uterus bronzed, the way they do with baby shoes, but I don't think the hospital offers that option.
Seriously, I'm not thrilled with the process of surgery and recovery, but I welcome the prospect of being pain-free and hormonally-balanced (I'll start bioidentical hormone replacement after surgery). In fact, the idea of a world without PMS/PMDD is about as close to a fairy tale as I can imagine in this natural realm. We shall see... I could be a whole different person!