Scooby Doo cartoons were the scariest thing I watched growing up. You never knew who the bad guy REALLY was. It only took a few episodes to realize that the ghost, or goblin, or swamp monster, or whatever, was really a guy in a costume (wasn't it always a guy?) with a greedy plan to prosper himself at the expense of someone else.

These days we seem to be surrounded by greedy people with schemes to profit and empower themselves more and more at the expense of others. Instead of putting on costumes, however, these villains hide behind other people, ideologies, religions, political positions, and real, manufactured, and imaginary wars. Sometimes they even hide behind masks. Actual masks.

It's tempting in these hours and days to yield to fear, to react in panic, and to begin shouting, spitting, and blaming whatever and, or whomever, we see. Lots and lots of people are telling us where to point. What they forget to tell us is that whenever we point a finger, there are three pointing back at us. We still haven't learned Adam's lesson in the Garden of Eden... resorting to casting blame does not solve the problem.



A particular verse of Scripture keeps coming to mind, from Paul's letter to the Ephesians. Now, mind you, the church that was in Ephesus was a divided, contrary bunch in a crazy, pagan city with a lot of really strange goings-on... the kind of things that would make today's Christians who are in a snit about "keeping Christ in Christmas" completely berserk. (For more on ancient Ephesus, this is an excellent article: http://bit.ly/1QAFhgV)

Paul writes:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this [present] darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places. (Eph 6:12, Amplified)

Wait a minute... our struggle, our battle, is NOT against people?
No. Our struggle is against the unseen enemies of the soul. The temptation to be ignorant, divisive, greedy, loveless, fearful, angry, hateful, prideful, selfish, and so on.

Ephesus was in the midst of some serious socio-political upheaval. I wonder if the Christians there were tempted to start pointing fingers at their "enemies" who wanted, in some cases, to kill them. It's a natural reaction. If someone wants to destroy you, it's primal human nature to fight back. But according to Paul, battling "flesh and blood" isn't going to solve the problem.

Now, the church has often taken this verse and started praying and binding and casting out. That's all well and good, but as one minister has said, you can't take authority over principalities and powers if you can't take authority over a sink full of dirty dishes.

In other words, start with your own heart first. You are, after all, "a heavenly place" because the kingdom of God is within you. And you are the only "heavenly place" you have direct authority over.

So ask yourself, what's manipulating your emotional reactions? What's driving your thought processes? Who told you to feel or think or react that way? In too many instances, every day, I have to admit it's not the Spirit of God... it's me. My flesh. My fear. My ignorance. Sometimes it's just because I've been feeding myself nothing but the news, so that's what comes out.

Now, I'm not saying that people don't do bad, evil, wicked things. They do. Because they, too, are being controlled and manipulated by those "spiritual forces of wickedness" Paul was talking about. Here's the problem... we don't have the power to change them, we only have the power and authority to change ourselves. As Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

We have to start somewhere, as the song we sing at Christmas says:
"Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me." 

Cue surgery. Almost nine months ago I underwent a medically-advised TAH-BSO (Total Abdominal Hysterectomy/Bilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy ... say that 10 times fast), which added a 6-inch horizontal scar to the rest of my abdominal decor. BOO. I would have much preferred a belly button ring.

It has been two weeks since my last dose of antidepressant medications.

I'm weepy (at the drop of a hat) and achy (like I've run a mini-marathon every day) and still have moments where the "brain zaps" try to get me. (If you are not familiar with the symptoms of withdrawal from many antidepressants, "brain zaps" or "brain shivers" are common. Imagine being connected to an electric battery at random moments, like every time you turn your head.) The nausea has lessened, thank goodness, and I'm starting to feel a bit more energetic.

Crazy woman that I apparently am, I opted to start weaning myself off my prescription in the same month that we packed and moved... Maybe I want extra points or something. I knew it was time, just as surely as I knew (after dragging my feet for months years) that I needed help to overcome the cumulative effect of stress, distress, and biological weakness on my spirit, soul, and body.

Bwhahaha!

Anyway... I'm nearing the end of the withdrawal phase, supposedly. It takes 19 days to work the chemicals out of my system, so I've got this week left. I'm pleased to say that despite the sudden urges to sob hysterically over a 60 Minutes clip about Taylor Swift, I can feel ME coming back to life, coming out of the fog.

Some of my Christian acquaintances (and myself, at one point) shun the use of antidepressants. Knowing what I know now: Don't shun someone for getting a prescription for something until you've walked a mile in his or her moccasins. I even had to look back and ask myself, "Why did I get on this stuff, it's a nightmare to quit!"

Well, to answer that... Because I was at the end of my proverbial rope. Looking back, I can see that the prescription I agonized over getting succeeded in toning down my emotions, reducing harmful physical reactions to stressors, and moderating anxiety enough to keep me functional (as opposed to going postal, which was looking like my other option) for the past few years. As a result, I'm not in prison and have no bodies buried anywhere on the property.

No, really.

I'm still married (to the same man, even). All my children are still speaking to me, and not in curse words or screaming arguments. I've renewed relationships with my parents and others who'd offended or hurt me. In other words, that prescription got me through a season of life that was taking more of a toll than I realized.

God knew what was going on... if it hadn't been for considerable time spent in prayer and His faithful persistence to keep telling me "go to the doctor," I would have never gone in and admitted (GASP) that I, a pastor's wife, a spirit-filled, word-of-faith Christian believer, was teetering on the edge of a crumbling cliff of depression and anxiety. Sometimes you've gotta trust God and what He's speaking to YOU personally than whatever traditions and doctrines of men you've bought into. Just a thought.

Anyway, this next month, the 42nd anniversary of my birth, should be interesting... let's just hope we don't have too many moments like this as I return to myself:

Even after my own reminder to stay in peace and not get all discombobulated about the traditions of the season I fell in the Christmas pressure cooker yesterday.

I spent most of  the day doing my Christmas shopping online, trying to squeeze the kids' lists into our budget restrictions and feeling guilty about not getting presents for every extended family member and neighbor and church member and pet, and the mailman, and the trash man. And all my co-workers, and my husband's co-workers. You know, the endless list of people we feel obligated to buy things for because if we don't, how will they know that we care about them; that we aren't grinchy, stingy, tightwads; that we appreciate them? At least for one day out of the year. Who makes up that list, anyway? Marketing people?

By the time my hubby got home from work I was stressed out, still in my pajamas, and distraught over whether or not the gifts will get here on time, if the kids will be disappointed by the limited number of items under the tree this year, if people will be offended because we don't have presents for them, and so forth.

After almost 18 years of marriage, I should know better than to dump all my day's distresses on my spouse before he has a chance to put down his lunchbox. However, knowledge and wisdom (the application of knowledge) are two different things, and I failed the wisdom test.

My darling husband's wise response to my deluge of stress? Well, it ended up in his blog today, and I thought I'd share it here. It helped me put things back in perspective. I may just have to print it and post it around the house for a daily reminder the rest of the month!

IRONY OF THE SEASON 

(author's note: edited from original post)

Should we stress out over the celebration of the birth of the Prince of Peace? He came “...to guide our feet into the way of peace." (Luke 1:79b) Are we following His lead?

He said, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”( John 14:27) So who feels overburdened and worried about Christmas? 'Tis the season to freak out and be fearful if you’re not careful.

What really is “the reason for the season?” The angel knew and declared, "Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!" (Luke 2:14) So, it's a wonderful time to praise and rejoice, but if for any reason in the season you lose your peace, you missed the point. And if you miss the point you’ll end up disappointed.

December can be highly stressful, especially if money is tight, but Jesus said “You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matt 6:24 NIV) Should we go out and acquire more debt, and become “the servant of the lender” to celebrate the birth of the One who came to set us free? It’s not that we really want to be the lender's slave and serve money, we just don’t want anyone to be disappointed. We want them to know we love them, and love is easier to express with gifts than honest words. Our whole life is supposed to be a reflection of love and giving, so why would we only focus on it once a year?

People are also afraid of what someone might think about them or not think about them, but the Savior came to set us free from fear. Many gifts are given more for the sake of the giver than the “givee.” Because it makes the giver feel good because the giver wants to give, but many times the person receiving could care less. Giving because of fear, or to make yourself feel better, is selfish.

Jesus wants to “pour out His love into our hearts,” yet how many people actually receive it and “walk in it,” especially while they are Christmas shopping?

He came to reconcile us to God the Heavenly Father so we could be FULfilled by relationship, not UNfulfilled by seeking stuff. How many people are stressed out right now seeking stuff and not focusing on the Father and the Son?

I like Christmas just fine, I just don’t like all the stress and pressure that goes with it. I’m not being a Scrooge, but many people really don’t enjoy this time of year. And there’s even religious pressure as many people try to make up some kind of meaning to go with all the decorations. Decking the halls can be delightful, but a heavy heart just sees a bunch of stuff. “Even in laughter the heart may sorrow, and the end of mirth may be grief.” (Prov 14:13)

The condition of people’s hearts is more important than the condition of their houses. Are there any “decorations” on the inside or are they filled with sorrow? Don’t miss the real message of Christmas and end up acting ironic, moronic, and demonic.

Jesus came to give us love, joy and peace - with God and toward each other and that is what we celebrate - right? So I say celebrate and enjoy and don’t get caught in the trap. Don’t worry about all the “stuff,” but focus on loving God and loving people. And if you have lots of money, by all means buy lots of stuff, as long as it has some meaning. And if your budget is tight, then don’t worry about it. You can always find a way to express your love. Bake or make something,  or simply and sincerely say “I love you!”

Give your heart, love, and loyalty as your gift to show that you value your relationships. God gave Himself! What will you give?