Image by DS Williams via Flickr

That old Simon & Garfunkel song keeps running through my head. I make it all the way to the "feelin' groovy" line and shake myself free of its melodic grip.

Although I find myself saying this to the 15-year-old with the driver's permit frequently, that's not what's triggered the jukebox in my brain. Nor is it the sense of time whipping past me out of control as my children leap into adulthood, pictures remind me that my husband is now mostly bald, and I find new gray hair in places I never expected to see gray hair.

No, this chorus is on repeat for me as a subtle reminder from my heavenly Father that I need to stop rushing through the minor details of everyday life.

I tend to do everything fast. I read fast, I walk fast, I eat fast. I've figured out how to turn vacuuming into an aerobic activity. I multitask my way through breakfast (read Bible, read devotional, take vitamins, drink coffee, eat oatmeal, pray, and check e-mail, all at the same time), and then move on to the day's demands like a jackrabbit on speed. I tried Tai Chi once, and literally could not make myself move that slowly without dissolving into a pile of anxious giggles. Thank goodness I was doing it at home to a video and not in a class of Tai Chi devotees!

But by mid-afternoon I hit a slump. The day has gotten away from me, and though I've been rushing since my feet hit the floor, I rarely feel I've accomplished anything. "Where did the day go?" and "Where did this week go?" and "My goodness, it's August already?" are frequent questions.

Writing fiction pinpointed the problem. When I offered chapters of my WIP to my critique partners, if that chapter was hurried, the comments returned were things like, "Where are your details? Use all five senses to show, not tell, what's going on." Show and tell? Tell or show? I've since learned this is a major problem for writers, the ability to show a reader what's taking place in the scene through the eyes of the character, without simply stating facts. You don't want to bore the reader with mindless drivel, but you don't want to rush them through a plot timeline void of emotion and feeling. I was frustrated with the process, not sure where to begin.

Getting ready in the morning seems like a terrible waste of time to me, but I'm too vain to skip it. It's hard to read while you brush your teeth, or put contacts in while typing, so I generally let my brain work overtime while I'm going through the motions of daily hygiene. Sometimes I get great ideas for stories, or bits of dialog. I occasionally even remember them after the hair dryer turns off!

Other times God interrupts my frenetic mental pace with revelation, or a gentle correction, or a reminder. As I fretted over my lack of detail and telling problem, I heard His still, small voice whisper from within my spirit, "Slow down. You move too fast."

Now, I don't THINK the Holy Spirit serenaded me with Simon & Garfunkel, but I wouldn't put it past Him. In any case, that's the way my brain processed it. I knew the Lord was trying to show me something, not just about writing, but about living my life.

We're all in such a hurry, and so busy, our lives have become a bad case of "telling." Look at Facebook and MySpace and Twitter and Tumblr: we're telling the world the stories of our lives in soundbytes, thumbnails, and notes. Can you imagine your autobiography written solely from your status messages? Texting is even worse. Talk about cutting out all the details! We eliminate half the alphabet in our text communiques.

Back to the Holy Ghost and his Simon & Garfunkel rendition. I picked up my brush again and started working on my hair one more time, this time forcing myself to move purposefully, to be aware of muscle contractions in my hand and fingers and forearm. I consciously took note of the texture and color of my hair, the temperature of the flat iron in my hand. I smelled the fragrance of my so-called "unscented" hairspray and tasted, actually tasted, my toothpaste. Do you know how long it's been since you really tasted your toothpaste?

Throughout the day, I made an effort to move more slowly, to be aware of all my senses and to mentally record my surroundings. These are the things that make memories: the smell of a newborn baby's fuzzy head, fresh from a bath; the visual overload of a new 64-count box of Crayola crayons; the fragile feel of your elderly neighbor's hand in your own; the way your husband or wife's voice sounds in the dark as they tell you goodnight; the contrasting flavor and texture of a caramel-covered apple on a warm fall afternoon ...

Sadly, these are the very things we lose as we "go through the motions" of living. No wonder we so often feel vaguely dissatisfied with life. But instead of slowing down and really living, we just run on to the next thing the way children rip open one Christmas present, glance at its contents, toss it aside and reach for the next one without even removing all the plastic packaging and twist-ties holding the toy in the box!

The Psalms are filled with the word "selah." It literally means, "stop and think about that!" The principle of Sabbath was intended to bring about an enforced rest at least once a week for a people who were driven to keep on keeping on with the business of living. You'll notice the first thing Adam and Eve did after they realized they were naked was to start being busy doing something for themselves. It's like God says to us, "stop DOING, and just BE. Think about the things I've given you, focus on them, enjoy them with all the human and spiritual senses you have right now on earth. Feast on Me, and on My creation, and let your soul be satisfied with my goodness."

It's amazing how much more fulfilling my writing is when I take the time to let my mind drift fully into a scene through my character's point of view, experiencing that imaginary world with all the senses. It's not just fulfilling to the reader, it's fulfilling for me as a writer. Daily life -- no matter how humdrum -- is no different. When I slow down, use sight and sound and smell and touch and taste, to be aware of my surroundings and the animate and inanimate objects in them, my life is more fulfilling, and isn't that what Jesus said He came to give us, what He wants us to have?

"A thief comes [only] to steal and kill and destroy, but I came to give life [that they might have life]--life in all its fullness [abundance.]"

(John 10:10, The [expanded] Bible. Thomas Nelson Pub.)

Slow down today. You won't lose out on anything, in fact, you'll probably gain a great deal of the joy of living you thought passed you by.

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.

Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da...Feelin' Groovy.

Hello lamp-post,
What cha knowin'?
I've come to watch your flowers growin'.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in' doo-doo,
Feelin' groovy.

I've got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.

Simon & Garfunkel, 59th Street Bridge Song

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My car's fuel gauge stopped working several weeks ago. The "low fuel" idiot light is on all the time, and the needle stays below the E no matter how much gas is in the tank. The car runs fine, I just have to pay attention to how many miles I've driven between stops at the gas station.
Some of my other gauges need attention, too. Not in my car, but in my body, soul, and spirit.
We have lots of gauges that must be monitored. There's a sleep gauge, a nutrition gauge, and a hydration gauge in our bodies. For women, there's a hormonal gauge that requires careful monitoring throughout our lives. Most of those physical gauges come with built-in physical warnings that we can either ignore or attend to. Ignore a gauge long enough and systems will begin to shut down. Mess with a gauge and you might compulsively overeat, or have problems with your sleep cycle.
The "idiot lights" on our soul and spirit gauges are often ignored entirely, especially during busy seasons or times of crisis, because our bodies continue to go through the motions of living long after our souls and spirits are running on fumes. So how do I read those gauges? What are the warning signs that my soul (mind, will, and emotions) and spirit (my connection to God and the eternal realm) are dipping dangerously close to failure?

#1. Physical symptoms that don't go away after proper rest and nourishment.
- These could include fatigue, insomnia, or unresolved aches and pains. If you've gone to the doctor, and he or she can't come up with a clear-cut diagnosis, it's time to check some other systems!

#2. Over-, or under-reacting to situations.
-If you're blowing up over spilled milk, or can't remember the last time you smiled, your emotional gauge is letting you know you need a refill. What activities stir up your emotions? It might be free-writing in a journal, hiking in the mountains or on the beach, spending time in prayer, watching a silly movie, reading a fluffy novel, or getting a pedicure. Everyone is different. If you are under pressure, or in crisis, it may seem like the most inopportune moment to take time for yourself to do something frivolous, but that foolish activity might just save you from a breakdown.

#3. Feeling disconnected from your purpose for living.
That "floating" feeling we experience from time to time, the one where we ask questions like, "what if this is really all just a dream (or nightmare)?" and "is anything I believe really true?" Is an indicator that your spirit (the eternal part of you) is running on fumes. Spiritual feeding is simple -- spending time with your Creator satisfies your spirit. Making the time, and settling yourself down mentally and emotionally long enough to find your spirit and "plug in" through prayer, meditation, worship or whatever, is the real challenge!

#4. "I'm bored!"
- Boredom is an alarm that lets you know you are in need of mental stimulation. Learning something new, applying yourself to a project or hobby, will feed your brain. If all else fails, pick up the dictionary and learn some new words!

#5. Rebelliousness isn't limited to our teenage years.
- Your will (I think, I want, I feel) will flare up in ugly ways if you start to feel trapped in your circumstances. To maintain a healthy will, you need to remind yourself that while you may not be able to control every situation, you can control your reaction to situations. "I can be happy, even when I don't get my way." Just choosing your response is enough to reset, or jumpstart, your will onto the right path.

Check those gauges! Don't run out of gas on the side of the road of life!

Someone said, "There is nothing in the crossing of an ocean that will make you a missionary."
There's nothing in the donning of a bridal veil and vow recital that makes you a wife. Getting married is like signing up for a lifelong internship. You LEARN to be a wife to your husband, through lessons and study and tests and pop quizzes.
Early in my married life my husband asked me to pick up a package of underwear for him during my weekly grocery run.
I didn't know everything about the man I'd married, and that surprised me. I still don't know everything about him. Much like our math and history textbooks, he changes frequently and I have to relearn things I thought I knew. But instead of feeling like a failure when I get the wrong brand of deodorant or forget which flavor of Crest he likes best, or "defile" a casserole with vegetables, I just chalk it up to another lesson covered and move on.
There's no such thing as "instant wife," or "instant husband." If we'd look at one another and remember we're nothing more than students, we might be more forgiving, more accepting, and easier to get along with!
Study your man. Become an expert on your husband! Husband 101. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Image by apesara via Flickr

I'm one of those oddballs who likes change. I like to rearrange furniture, repaint walls, try new hairstyles and switch my wardrobe around. I even like to move! (No, I do not want to come help you pack.)
But for some people even small changes are excruciating, and I'm finding that I have my limits as well. In the last five months my only daughter turned 18, graduated from high school, and is getting married in three days. My oldest son got his driver's license. My second son turned 15 and got his driver's permit. And my 11-year-old proudly announced his need for deodorant and notified the household of the arrival of a long-awaited armpit hair. Lots of changes.
Why do we resist change? Because it hurts.
The status quo, no matter how uncomfortable, is always easier than changing behaviors and attitudes. It's easier, for example, to continue eating junk food and skipping exercise, even though you despise the extra 20 or 30 pounds of flab you're packing around. It's easier to continue using the credit card for purchases you really don't need and battle anxiety attacks when the bill comes due than it is to tell yourself "no" and commit to a get-out-of-debt plan. It's easier to whine about your kids' bad behavior than it is to expend the energy to discipline them. It's easier to moan and groan about a lousy relationship than it is to do something to reconcile the situation.
Human nature always tends toward the path of least resistance. Change, whether good or bad, brings resistance, and resistance is a source of pain, or stress, on the body and mind.
Think of resistance as a fork in the road of life. What you choose to do with the pain of change determines where you will end up tomorrow, next week, next year, or a decade from now.
Choose to let pain overwhelm you with sorrow for time lost and relationships stolen, and you will become bitter and filled with regret. What a waste!
Or, choose to embrace the pain of change. Let it restructure and reshape you the way weights sculpt your muscles. I know, that sounds crazy, especially if you're facing some horribly difficult situation, like a divorce or a death, or serious illness. But to survive and thrive in life, we must learn to accept change and be proactive instead of reactive.
My Bible reading schedule for today put me in 2 Kings 7. It's a story that never fails to inspire me to get up and DO something! The Bible is always best read with your imagination engaged, so shift into imagination mode and picture the following scene...

The city was under siege. The enemy had cut off all supply lines. The markets were empty. The cisterns were dry. Inflation had reached an all-time high. The situation looked hopeless to everyone, even the king.
Sitting just outside the city gates were four men, victims of leprosy. They were outcasts -- unable to work, rejected by their society and doomed to a miserable, lonely existence.
I can almost see the cartoon light bulb go off over their heads just prior to the third verse.

"...They said to one another, 'Why stay here until we die? If we say, 'We'll go into the city'--the famine is there, and we will die. And if we stay here, we will die. So let's go over into the camp of the Arameans and surrender. If they spare us, we live; if they kill us, then we die.'"

Ever been there? Where every option looks like certain death?
I love these guys. They had the guts to do SOMETHING, even if it seemed completely crazy.
The four men got up at dusk (presumably hoping the low light would prevent the Arameans from noticing their diseased condition) and headed for the enemy's camp. To their surprise, the place was deserted. The Arameans had fled in terror when God made them hear the sound of a great army coming their way. Was God just waiting for someone to make a move, to step out and do something?
The lepers had a party. They ate and drank their fill and hauled off gold and silver and clothes for themselves. Satiated, their consciences pricked them, and they returned to the besieged city and shared the good news. The announcement created a stampede to outdo any Christmas clearance rush at Wal-Mart!
Here's your question. Take that painful change you're facing right now and ask yourself, "Why am I just sitting here? What are my options? What can I do?" Become proactive. Resist the temptation to take the easy way out by doing nothing. Instead, step out in faith and do something. Even little things that seem insignificant can have a tremendous impact on your future!
For myself, I can resist my children's growth and development by trying to hold them in the nest, tied tightly to my apron strings. But I will suffer misery, torment, and discomfort as they figure out ways to escape my grasp. I could sullenly sit back and pout, mourning the loss of my youth and making my children feel guilty for "abandoning" me to--gasp, how dare they?--live their own lives.
Or, I can view these changes not with dread, but with a sense of adventure. Every ending is a new beginning, an opportunity for growth and further sculpting of my soul and spirit into the person God created me to be. As a writer, I like this analogy: Every change opens a new chapter in the book of my life. And because God has all my days written in His book, I can trust that it will be a well-written story, penned by the author of faith Himself, and that He has a happy ending planned for me, something better than I could ever dream. And He has a story written for you, too! Just like those lepers, He might just be waiting for someone to stand up and make a move toward victory, toward success, toward a dream.
Will you be the one who says, "Let's roll!"?

Next week is my 18-year-old daughter's wedding. I've been thinking about the privilege it has been to raise her.

My first thought was to list all the things I wish I hadn't done as a parent. But those things are the same ones you see on every list... I wish I'd worried less about having a clean house and spent more time having fun with my kids, I wish I hadn't yelled and screamed about stupid, trivial things, I wish...

Yeah, well, that's depressing and futile to consider at this point, so I'm going to look at the bright side. My husband would tell you that was out of character for me, but I'm pretty darn proud of the way our oldest child has turned out!

I certainly can't take the credit. God gets the glory. Anything I did right is because He directed my parenting steps as I cried out to Him for help! And that, dear readers, underlies all of the following tips and tricks, because every child and every parent is different, and only God has the right answers.

1. We flooded her with the Word.
We played scripture tapes, bought Christian videos, watched Christian programming, read the Bible, and prayed with her from the time she was just a toddler (we didn't get saved until she was almost a year old.) We didn't limit her intake of the Word, or church, or of the Bible to things we thought she could understand. We just trusted that the Word would do her spirit good whether she "got it" or not. We found out later she understood a lot more than we expected!
The biggest benefit? When she was old enough to be exposed to other things, she recognized the difference between good and evil, right and wrong, truth and lie, more rapidly than we did. Like the bank employees who are trained to recognize the counterfeit by examining the real thing.

On that note, a number of people have questioned our willingness to let her get married so young. All I can say is that we've invested the last 18 years into teaching her how to hear from God for herself, how to be led by His spirit in all her ways, and He has proven Himself faithful to speak to her on any number of issues. At this point, if we can't trust God to talk to her about something as critical about her marriage, we're all pretty much up the creek without the proverbial paddle!

2. Backwards diapers won't hurt them.
I was blessed to have a husband who was willing to change diapers and take care of her from the time we got home from the hospital. But sometimes it was a struggle for me to let him do it. Especially when I would come home and the house would be a disaster and her diaper would be on backwards, or she'd tell me about their "adventures" riding dirt bikes or spelunking using the light from his cell phone. It was tempting to pull her in and turn her into "mommy's girl," but she needed that time with her father, and the balance he supplied her with. When she hit the hormonal tween years, it was her daddy who stepped in and counseled and comforted and corrected her most of the time, and because she'd spent so much time with him, she received his guidance. I encourage every mother to find trustworthy men, if dad isn't around, to help you raise your girls.

3. We encouraged her to find her own "voice" instead of being an "echo."
Granted, sometimes she sounds just like me. And I usually cringe (that's those mistakes we make that come back to haunt us). But when it comes to her personal likes and dislikes, and the decisions she makes, she's her own person. She doesn't have to copycat anyone else because she's confident in who she is. I made it a point to choose my battles very carefully. In Dr. Dobson's words, "Is this a hill you want to die on as a parent?" Things like hairstyles, ear piercing, clothing style, decorating her room, etc. were all potential sources of strife when we disagreed. But most of the time, if I stepped back to pray, God would remind me that those things were superficial, not spiritual, and they didn't really matter. He trained me with my daughter. Applying the same principles to my son has been much more challenging! (More on that in the future!)

4. Traditional social circles can do more harm than good.
Homeschooling and living out of town made limiting interactions with her peers easy for us. I shudder at the amount of time girls spend with their "friends." We didn't do sleepovers, she wasn't involved in a lot of group activities, and she learned early to choose her friends wisely. Yes, sometimes she laments the fact that she doesn't "have any friends," but in reality, she has a lot of friends, they just aren't her age! She interacts easily with people of both genders and all age groups, which is important for her success as an adult!

5. I jumped off the "Mommy" pedestal.
Sometimes to the point of TMI, I openly shared the mistakes I made at her age, and I apologized a lot when I made mistakes with her. I set my own mother on a kind of pedestal for years, and tried to live up to her "perfect" example. And then I found out she was just human like the rest of us. I'm not perfect, and I have no problem with my kids knowing it. I don't want her to try to "live up" to me, I want her to go as far beyond me as she can!

Growing up, my next-door neighbor's mom, who had five boys and one girl, used to say she'd rather raise five more boys than one more girl. I have had moments where I've felt that way, but for the most part, daughters are a blessing. What a divine privilege we have to help develop strong, confident women to lead the next generation, and possibly usher in the return of Christ!

Caiti, I couldn't be more proud of you. Keep following your Lord and He will lead you into a life of blessing and peace that's more than you can ask or think! Love, Mom.

Image by C-Ali via Flickr

Last night I talked to a lady from our church who is battling depression. I asked her why, thinking she was having financial challenges, or a disagreement with family members. Her answer surprised me. She said she's "just so down" about the state of our nation, the political fracas, and the pervading apathy toward sin and the resistance to the Gospel of Christ.
This is a woman who knows the Word, who has overcome tremendous challenges in her life. I admire her. Why is this strong, faithful Christian mired in a pit of despair?
I asked if she's been listening to a lot of news lately. Personally, I had to reset my browser so it wouldn't bombard me first thing in the morning with tales of trauma and woe. She said she's been listening to a lot of talk radio. Conservative talk radio.
Ah. That confirmed something to me. Instead of being a light and a source of peace to the world around us, we've jumped in the negativity pit, too, spending as much or more time hearing and declaring the "signs of the times" and pointing out the sin, failure, and shortcomings of our "enemies" as we do proclaiming the good news.
Try having a conversation that doesn't include at least one negative comment about the president or the economy. Our speech is poisoned with bitterness, anger, and frustration.
And if our speech is poisoned, our hearts are poisoned.
Are we surrounded by bad situations and circumstances? Yep.
Do bad things happen to good people? Yep.
Are we in the end times? Could be.
Do things pretty much suck (pardon me) for a lot of folks right now? No question.
But consider this:

"And God spoke to Moses and said to him ... 'I am the Lord; I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, I will rescue you from their bondage, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments. I will take you as My people, and I will be your God." (Exo 6:2, 6-7)

That would be a good message to hear, right? I mean, if someone you trusted to hear from God's spirit stood up and said God has promised to bring you out of whatever distress you're in, wouldn't you be pleased? But look at what happened.

"So Moses spoke thus to the children of Israel; but they did not heed Moses, because of anguish of spirit and cruel bondage." (Exo 6:9)

They were so focused on their circumstances, so distressed by what was going on around them, the children of Israel didn't even hear Moses' word to them from God. Are we guilty of the same? I think we might be.

Jesus said we WILL have trials and tribulations on this earth. He didn't say we'd have the government we wanted. But He did say we are to honor our leaders. He didn't say the economy would always go the way we wanted, but He did say we could trust God for our provision and supply even when there obviously wasn't enough to go around. He didn't say we'd never face plagues or destructive storms, only that He would be with us no matter what, and that faith in Him would be our victory.

So what should we be doing? I don't want to be like the Hebrew children, who couldn't even hear the good news God was sending them because they were so freaked out! What if God's trying to tell you about your way out of the mess you've fallen in right now, but you are too miserable to hear Him?

Jesus gave us instructions for times like these in Luke 21:25-28 (Amp.)

"And there will be signs in the sun and moon and stars; and upon the earth [there will be] distress (trouble and anguish) of nations in bewilderment and perplexity [without resources, left wanting, embarrassed, in doubt, not knowing which way to turn] at the roaring (the echo) of the tossing of the sea,
Men swooning away or expiring with fear and dread and apprehension and expectation of the things that are coming on the world; for the [very] powers of the heavens will be shaken and caused to totter.
And then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with great (transcendent and overwhelming power and [all His kingly] glory (majesty and splendor).
Now when these things begin to occur, look up and lift up your heads because your redemption (deliverance) is drawing near."

It's interesting to note that references to the "sea" in Scripture are often references to a mass of people. There's distress and confusion in the nations because of the echo of the sea. If that doesn't describe the news media I don't know what does! The world responds with fear and anxiety. We, however, aren't supposed to dive in with them, but to look up (pray) and lift up our heads (praise). Why? Because we are the redeemed of the Lord. He's coming to get us!

I got stuck at DIA last summer for about five hours in severe storms. It was late at night, and the airport was crowded with people who were tired, cranky, worried, and afraid. I wanted nothing more than to have someone come up to me and say, "Ma'am, a charter bus will be out front shortly to take you home. If you'll just follow me."

What would my reaction have been? I would have rejoiced at the revelation of my redemption! I had a way out! And, after I got done jumping around and hugging the messenger, I'd have probably offered a ride to anyone else going my way! Hmmm. Sounds like the gospel to me!

Don't echo the voices of doom and gloom. Become a voice of redemption and hope. I like what I read in The Love Dare, "Are you a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?" Jesus calmed the storm. And so can we. At least in our own hearts and maybe even in the lives of those closest to us. Look UP! Jesus is coming soon!